idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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