She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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