Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My pussy is not your playground.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
