I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
