3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
