We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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