Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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