I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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