I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's shark week go big or go home
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
