R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
