I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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