ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
