i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I lost the right to judge tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
