it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
