for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
