It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
