It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
