i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
