We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
