I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
