i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
