My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
