look no pants
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So. Much. Porn.
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