I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
