well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
