why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
