I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
