are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
