Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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