Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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