The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
