i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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