Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
