hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
