Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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