Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
