I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
