I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
