Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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