I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he thought i was a dude.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
