K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
