You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
