Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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