there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
