wat bout pragnant strippers??
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
