Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
