I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
