i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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