Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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