Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
