I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
